Why are women fat and unhappy?
Do I have your attention?
I have so many women come into my office and it seems that, for one reason or another, they have gotten to a place in life where they are unhappy with where they are at this moment, how they look or how they feel and aren’t sure how to change. They come to me with regrets and excuses that they have made that have led them to feel this way. They often ask if there is any hope for them. Can you relate?
I am here to say that there IS hope. We don’t have to be slim, tight and toned to be happy, but people gain a tremendous amount of confidence that comes with the process of working out or reaching any goal.
The first benefit I see in the ladies I train is not weight loss or physical strength, but CONFIDENCE. After we work together on a workout, I find that they leave having confidence that they can do the basics of exercise to start making a change. That confidence is the driving force that enables us to continue our workouts that will lead to being more successful and reaching an overall sense of happiness.
There are so many ways to build confidence, but I have outlined several of them that make a difference immediately.
- Get rid of destructive behaviors. We are often our own worst enemy! Whether it is refraining from seconds at the dinner table, having one less sugary coffee or making it to the gym for a workout, whatever decisions are made lead to how we see ourselves tomorrow. Change the bad behaviors into better behaviors. Begin with one step at a time. That one step in the right direction will lead to more steps and will quickly lead to feeling better about ourselves in the future.
- Don’t have unhealthy belief in others. In other words, don’t compare yourself to others. It often seems like other people have it together but the truth is they have many of the same decisions to make daily that the rest of us do. Don’t judge them based on their decisions, and don’t assume they judge you on yours. Stop wasting your time and energy worrying about others and take action towards the end goal. We must stop feeling bad for ourselves. We must stop making excuses as to why we can’t reach our goals and realize that we should take responsibility for ourselves.
- Set goals for yourself. If we are unhappy where we are and figure out where we want to go. It’s difficult to work towards a goal if we don’t make a goal. We should spend our time and energy focusing on those goals once we know what they are.
- Stop negative self-talk. There are enough people in the world saying negative things about us that we don’t need to add any more negativity to ourselves. The great thing is that we can speak to and encourage ourselves through our own words. Using words that break us down or compromise our goals are only hurting us. These words are affecting how we feel about ourselves. What if the great Mohammad Ali said in press conferences, “Well, Joe Frasier is probably better than me and I am going to get knocked out in the first round?” He would NEVER say that. He was his own cheerleader. We must be our own cheerleader! We must SPEAK positive things to ourselves to make them reality. Start by putting notes of positive affirmation around your house. A few great examples are: I am strong, I am a hottie, I am the caption of my own ship and my favorite, I am the greatest. How will other people realize how awesome we are if we don’t even believe it? Positive affirmations affect us from the brain down through the rest of our body.
- Repetition. It is imperative that we speak those positive affirmations into being by repeating them over and over. Make these actions habits and soon we will be doing them without even thinking about it.
- Say NO to failure. Whether it is us or others that question the abilities to reach the goal, don’t allow failure. Set solid goals that you can be measured then work to accomplish them. Don’t give up!
In the next week, let’s make one change and focus on that. Instead of asking why we are fat or unhappy, start asking what things we can do to become happy and start working towards those goals.
Confidence is key,